A Strange Adventure 1: Big Mac the Bounty Hunter
by NocturneD
Summary: Big Mac gets his license to be a bounty hunter. He forms a team with Cheerilee, Apple Jack, and Braeburn. Only to find out, they're the worst bounty hunters of all time. How much chaos can Ponyville sink into? warning: crude humor
1. Chapter 1

**A Strange Adventure: Big Mac The Bounty Hunter**

**By NocturneD**

Note: I just keep churning out stories don't I? Well, turns out I want to make some shorter stories and write carefree with them. Some ideas might spawn bigger stories in the future, but I can't promise that. Also I might take ideas from my previous stories and put them here for fun So enjoy these smaller stories . Also this series shares a similar title name to my previous series. Just look at the section it was for so it won't be confusing. Warning crude humor.

**Chapter 1**

One day in the stupid ass town of Ponyville. Big Mac was dragging his big sexy ass all over town. Many female ponies whistled and shouted compliments. He was a stallion of a few words but what every pony didn't know is that he wasn't interested in the simple things that goes on around town. He knew that Ponyville catered more to females than males thus the exception of the library and Sugar cube corner. Other than that, nothing much.

It was boring in Ponyville. Nothing to do...

"HELP! THAT THIEF TOOK MY PURSE!" Shouted a yellow pony.

The thief is pretty much your generic villain wearing a black and white stripe shirt, mask, and wool cap. Big Mac looked at the thief with no question and went after him. The thief ducked left, then right then jumped over a fruit cart. Big Mac wasn't as swift as the thief as he tried to jump over only to end up smashing through it. The thief stopped then pulled out a knife with his own mouth. Big Mac halted, not wanting to get into a serious fight but only just wanted to get the purse back. The thief lunged at Big Mac, but the larger stallion gave a hard right hook with his hoof. The thief went flying back and landed on a vegetable cart, dazed and confused. The large stallion picked up the purse with his mouth and returned it to its rightful owner. The yellow pony gave Big Mac a big kiss as a reward, that and some chewing gum. A crowd formed around the red stallion to praise him for his heroics. The cops came and took the thief away, the photographer took Big Mac's picture.

A police officer came up to Big Mac, "That's some fine work you did there son."

"Yup." Big Mac nodded.

"We could use someone like you down at the precinct..." The officer smiled.

Big Mac smiled too, "Oh. I'm not really cut out to be a police pony."

The officer frowned, "Oh... that's too bad. Just wished there were more helping hands around here. Though..." The officer froze, "Say, you need money fast?"

Big Mac nodded, "Sure. The Apple family could always use some extra bits. Place is practically falling apart."

"Why not be a bounty hunter?" The officer suggested, "Sure you got to take an online exam and learn from there. But if you pass and catch your first criminal, you could roll in some dough."

"I don't have a computer." Big Mac frowned.

"Library should have one." The officer replied.

"Thanks a lot then officer." Big Mac bid farewell and made his way to the library. Twilight Sparkle was too busy getting humped by Spike who pretended she was Rarity so Big Mac just used the computer. After getting side tracked by porn the stallion finally took the exam. He put in his credit card number and went over the facts, the questions were multiple choice. "Blah blah blah." The red stallion just clicked the third option on all his answers and got his final score. "Well how about that. I passed." He printed out his certificate and left the library at Twilight kept moaning sexually.

Big Mac was proud of himself. He was now an official bounty hunter just like Dog. The show he usually watches whenever the television was free at home. He pondered on what he was going to need next. He rubbed his chin, "Let's see... I'm going to need a team, pepper spray and tasers, a vehicle, sunglasses... and a tv crew to follow me around." He smirked, "Well I'll just get the supplies first." Big Mac then dragged his big ass over to Pony Mart and bought some pepper spray, some shades and some chips. "Wait... If I'm going to be a bounty hunter I need to be like Dog more."

He wandered over to the school that was still in session. Cheerilee was teaching as usual about cutie marks. Her students were either not paying attention, passing notes, picking their butts or smoking pot. Big Mac wandered in. Cheerilee noticed, "Ah Big Mac. What brings you here today? Is there something wrong?"

"Nope." He shook his head, "I'm now a bounty hunter. And I'm going to exploit the hell out it."

"Language Mr. Mac." Cheerilee frowned.

"COOL!" Apple Bloom chimed. "You going to be like Dog?"

"Yup. Only cooler." Big Mac took out his pepper spray. "See I'm already on step one." He accidently then sprayed Pip in the eye.

"AHHHHHHH!" Pip screamed.

"Whoops..." Big Mac uttered.

"Quick Pip let's get those eyes washed off!" Cheerilee shouted as she pulled Pip from the seat.

"Snips is in the bathroom so it's not possible to get in there." Sweetie Belle added.

"SON OF BITCH!" Cheerilee shouted.

"ALLOW ME!" Big Mac shouted as he kicked down the door. Snips was on the toilet. Big Mac sprayed him in the eyes.

"AHHHHHH!" Snips screamed holding his face.

"Damn it Big Mac!" Cheerilee grunted as she washed Pip's eyes out with water.

At this time, Sweetie Belle let out a huge fart.

"Ew! Blank flank farted!" Diamond Tiara covered her nose. Big Mac walked up to her and sprayed her in the eyes, "AHHHHHHHH!"

An hour later after pepper spraying all the students. Big Mac finally got alone time with Cheerilee.

"Well I hope your happy Big Mac. I had to send all the kids home with irritated eyes." Cheerilee crossed her arms.

Big Mac looked down sadly, "Nope."

"What is the meaning of this anyway?" Cheerilee asked.

"I just got my license to be a bounty hunter!" Big Mac smiled.

"And why did you come here?" Cheerilee raised an eyebrow.

"Wanted to form a team." Big Mac smiled.

"You came here to form a team?" She scoffed, "Wait. You want to ask me?"

"Yes... I want you to be on my team. To be my Beth." Big Mac blushed.

"Your what?" Cheerilee asked.

"Dog's bitch." Big Mac answered sternly.

"Oh... what makes you think I want to join after you maced my students?" Cheerilee frowned.

"Because I love you and you love me. Plus depending on who we bring in we get money for it." Big Mac explained.

Cheerilee was touched by this. Stupid I know. But after her and Big Mac made love on her desk they decided to form the rest of the team. Big Mac maced more ponies along the way. They arrived the Carousel Boutique to find the mane six there playing Battleship. Big Mac saw Apple Jack immediately.

"Apple Jack we're forming a bounty hunting team and I need you to be on it." Big Mac said.

"Well tarnation that sounds pretty neat!" Apple Jack stood up, "I'll do it!"

"Can I join too?" Pinkie Pie asked.

Big Mac pulled out his pepper spray and maced Pinky Pie. The pink pony only smiled while her eyes reddened.

**to be continued...**

Note: yeah, short, to the point. if there was any. so yeah, the start of my short series. tasteless I know. I don't care.


	2. Chapter 2

**A Strange Adventure: Big Mac The Bounty Hunter**

**By NocturneD**

Note: Meh an okay turn out for the first chapter.

**Chapter 2**

"Well Sweet Apple Acres could use the money." Apple Jack rubbed her chin after Big Mac explained what the job consisted of. "But to handle fugitives in that fashion?"

"You'll get tasers." Big Mac held out a stun gun to his sister.

"Stun gun it is." Apple Jack took the defense tool from her brother and pressed then button to see a spark fly out. "Awfully neat I tell you what."

"Oh how barbaric." Rarity sneered.

Apple Jack frowned and shocked the hell out of the posh pony as she screamed. Rarity laid down on the ground twitching as she lost control of all her muscles and became numb. She also pissed all over the floor.

"Mighty fine tool." Apple Jack twirled her stun gun in marvel. The blonde smiled the reminded, "Don't forget. We have to pick up cousin Braeburn from the train station."

"Oh right. The gay cowboy." Big Mac muttered.

"He's not gay. Just overly excited about things." Apple Jack smirked.

Later that day. They picked up their cousin who arrived from Appleloosa. Still smiling like the turd he is, he greeted his cousins and Cheerilee.

"Well howdy cousins!" Braeburn waved.

"Hey dick face." Big Mac greeted.

"Cousin Braeburn!" Apple Jack smiled.

Braeburn turned his attention to Cheerilee. "Well hello."

"Nice to meet you too." Cheerilee smiled. Big Mac took out his pepper spray and maced Braeburn who fell down on the ground, screaming while covering his eyes.

"AH! SON OF A BITCH!" Braeburn shouted, "WHAT THE HELL?"

"She's my bitch." Big Mac smiled.

Cheerilee took out her stun gun and zapped Big Mac in the testicles. He fell over on the ground and started sharking. "Not so fun now is it?"

"Big Mac is now a bounty hunter and wants to put together a team. That's why he's got the mace." Apple Jack explained, then frowned, "He's been macing ponies all day."

Braeburn opened up his red eyes, "Oh... well that explains everything cousin."

They asked Braeburn to join the team. The cowboy agreed. Then soon they are off onto their next step. To buy a car. After wasting so much time at the car dealership they decided on a black sports utility vehicle that basically costs sixty to eighty bits to fill every time at the gas station. Yes apparently gas is also expensive in Equestria. They got the vehicle pretty cheap because some pony died in it and it smelled like pee.

Big Mac drove the crew over to a clothing store. "If we're going to be bounty hunters. We got to look like bounty hunters."

"But... isn't that going to give us away? Dressing all in black?" Braeburn brought up.

Cheerilee walked out of the dressing room wearing only a tight black tank top. "Um. Big Macintosh. I get that we have to look tough but why do I need to put balloons in my shirt?" The camera zooms down to her chest area showing two obvious mismatching colored balloons stuffed in her shirt.

"Because Dog's wife has big hooters." Mac chewed on a piece of straw.

"I can't even see my hooves." Cheerilee frowned as she looked down.

Apple Jack came out with a bullet proof vest on along win sun glasses. "Now how do I look?"

Braeburn and Mac nodded, "Pretty bad ass." The two males settled on pretty much the same thing. As well as Big Mac getting stupid tassels for his hair and cowboy boots for his hooves which greatly decrease his running speed. He only bought them because he thought they looked cool, they really didn't.

"Okay gang. Now to go to the post office to find our first criminal." Big Mac explained. They reached the post office and looked at the WANTED posters. "There it is gang. Each criminal worse than the last. Bring them in alive and we'll get big money."

"Let's see who they got." Apple Jack looked at the posters. "Smelly Mcgee, Big Balls Billy, The Toilet Breaking Bandit, Crazy Earl, The great and powerful Trixie, Nigel Ratburn, Prince Blueblood, Lucky the No Legged Pony, Vash the Stampede, Lauren Faust, John Wayne Gacy."

"Wow. Some pretty crazy names here." Braeburn observed.

"Maybe we'll go after the easiest one." Big Mac pondered. "Ah... Trixie sounds easy."

"You sure?" Braeburn scratched his balls.

"She only has a reward of five hundred bits compared to every pony else up there." Big Mac looked at the bounty reward. They ripped Trixie's poster off the wall, they went around asking questions on where Trixie might be. They must of asked about one pony and deemed it impossible.

"Damn it we'll never find her!" Big Mac shouted.

"We only asked one pony." Apple Jack frowned.

"Well maybe this blue unicorn will know." Braeburn turned to ask the blue unicorn waiting in the line to ship out a package. "Excuse me Ma'am we're looking for this fugitive."

"The great and powerful Trixie does not answer questions to urchins." The blue unicorn held her nose high.

"Oh you dumb asses that's her!" Cheerilee pointed.

"FREEZE!" Big Mac brought out his pepper spray.

"WHAT'S THE MEANING OF THIS?" Trixie held her hooves above her head as she shouted. Big Mac sprayed mace in her mouth. She started to choke. "AGAGHHHHHHHH!" She held her throat and mouth open wide as she collapsed to the floor.

"Good work team." Big Mac smiled. Apple Jack hoof cuffed Trixie and lead her to the car, her mouth still burning from the mace. Cheerilee gave her water, since she was the mother figure of the group anyway. "This is what happens when you skip on bail Trixie."

"Can't believe how easy that was." Braeburn tipped his hat. The ponies in line didn't really seem to give a damn anyway.

Apple Jack drove while Big Mac was sitting next to Trixie who was still upset, more likely crying of being humiliated again. "Now Trixie. You know what you did?"

"No." She mumbled.

"I'm going to give you a big lecture then." Big Mac nibbled on his straw, "Apple Jack take the scenic route."

"There is no scenic route." Apple Jack said. "We're already at the station."

"Oh well drive around ten more times." Big Mac instructed.

"Honey. Honey, you know what you did was wrong." Cheerilee tried to calm Trixie down.

"Trixie just couldn't... come up with the money." Trixie cried, "her shows were failures and Trixie can't make ends meat." She sniffed while Cheerilee handed her over a hankerchief, "Trixie wished she didn't rob that store."

"It also says here you shot Mr. Cake in the shoulder." Braeburn read off the wanted poster. "Then the leg, then emptied the entire clip into him, then reloaded, and emptied it again."

Trixie cried harder, "Trixie is sorry!"

"Would you like a smoke?" Big Mac offered.

"Anything to calm Trixie's nerves." Mac placed the cigarette in her mouth and lit it. Trixie inhaled a bit and took the cigarette out of her mouth to exhale, "It smells like pee in here."

Apple Jack turned a hard left, then a hard right, left, then right, then hit a coke machine then finally stopped in front of the police station. "Alright let's get on with it."

Big Mac and Cheerilee escorted Trixie to the station. Trixie felt guilty but hopefully this will make her learn a valuable lesson if any after shooting Mr. Cake thirty two times. Apple Jack pushed the seat back and relaxed, "You know what the most insane part is... she wasn't a very good shot so she wasted so many bullets."

"To bad. Thought she was kind of cute." Braeburn smiled.

"Just hope when she gets out she doesn't try to shoot you." Apple Jack farted, "This is my seat now."

"Well good thing you hit that coke machine." He reached out the window and pulled out a couple cans of coca-cola. He gave Apple Jack one, "Cheers." They tapped their cans together.

**to be continued...**

note: yeah yeah yeah. obviously making fun of Dog the bounty hunter.


	3. Chapter 3

**A Strange Adventure: Big Mac The Bounty Hunter**

**By NocturneD**

Note: Yay!

**Chapter 3**

"Good job every pony." Big Mac smiled. "Our first criminal has been apprehended and we got our bits."

"Makes it all seem worth it." Apple Jack smirked as she drove the car around town.

"Ya'll each earn one hundred bits. Going to spend the last one hundred on dinner tonight for all four of us!" Big Mac sorted through the envelope which the money came in.

"Well that's very nice of you big Macintosh." Cheerilee smiled.

"To the Old Country Buffet we go!" Big Mac instructed.

Apple Jack rounded the corner and started their way to the buffet. The cowgirl found a good parking spot... in the main lobby. Yes she crashed the SUV into the restaurant, glass everywhere and a dead old pony underneath the tire. Big Mac paid for the four of them and they waited in line. Unfortunately the four were waiting behind a group of old ponies that were sneezing all over the food despite the sneeze guard being there. It did a horrible job.

Cheerilee cringed, "I don't think I'll want macaroni and cheese."

And no one had macaroni and cheese for dinner.

They ate about thirty plates of food and stacked them all over the damn floor like a bunch of animals. No pun intended. Apple Jack and Cheerilee walked over to the ice cream dispenser for some dessert. Taking two small bowls, Apple Jack had chocolate while Cheerilee decided on a vanilla and chocolate swirl. Big Mac wanted ice cream too, but too bad because the machine was broken by the time he got up there. The girls ate happily while cousin Braeburn was too busy looking at the writing on the bathroom wall.

"For a good time. Call Rarity 555..." Braeburn wrote down the number.

Later that night, the Apple family took Cheerilee home. They all had a bunch of unruly fun. Unfortunately she had to teach the next day because it was a school day. She walked inside her house and instantly took the balloons out of her shirt. She sighed and relaxed. It was fun, but too damn risky. She took a nice long relaxing sexy shower. She rubbed soap all over her sexy body in a slow sexual way. It was so sexy. Did I mention that it was sexy? No? Well here it is. Cheerilee washed her sexy hair and let the water spread all over her sexy body. God I sound like a pervert now don't I?

The next day. Big Mac was dragging his big sexy ass all over Ponyville again. He thought long and hard... and sexually about his next step. If he wanted to be a famous bounty hunter, he needed a television recording crew. But the big stupid sexy dumb ass didn't know any pony who had experience in multimedia. He wandered into the library to see that Spike and Twilight were going at it like rabbits again. Ever since Spike found out that Rarity was a prostitute to support her drug habit, he was devastated. Rarity said she'll sleep with any pony, just not dragons. This devastated Spike where he sent himself into a downward spiral of drinking. Then Twilight bent over one day while looking for a book, Spike as a horny drunk dragon took this chance. Twilight at first objected but down right loved it. By at this time you wonder why I'm talking about Spike giving Twilight a rim job. Because I need to add filler to this story to make it seem bigger. Meanwhile Twilight's stupid owl was overdosing himself on aspirin and choked himself to death. No pony cared for that damn owl.

Big Mac walked up to Spike after he climaxed into Twilight for the billionth time. "Spike I need you to do a favor for me?"

"Sure Big Mac. What do you need?" The baby dragon looked up at the stallion.

"I need you to follow me and my crew around with a camera as we catch bad guys." Big Mac explained.

"How much?" Spike asked.

"About fifteen percent of the reward money." Mac answered.

"Well I need condoms if I'm going to play it safe." Spike smiled.

"But aren't you screwing Twilight?" Mac asked as he looked at the purple unicorn trying to catch her breath. "And only her?"

"Oh yeah." Spike pondered, "Well we don't want baby dragon ponies yet."

Twilight stood up and blushed, "Um about that. Spike..."

Spike looked up at Big Mac, "Can I have twenty percent?"

Macintosh thought about the bad guy from Tron for some reason then shook his head in agreement. "Well sure." They shook on it.

Meanwhile at school...

Cheerilee had a very special guest today for bring your family in or whatever day. It was Rarity. And she explained her new job working down at Hooters wearing orange shorts and serving male ponies chicken wings. Rarity explained that her job doesn't maker her a whore, she is a whore on her own free will. She also had another job where she danced at a few stallion clubs at night where she danced for money. She tried to demonstrate her dancing on Snails who happened to be sitting in the front row. But Cheerilee stopped her. Ever since Rarity tried to set her own store on fire for the insurance money only to find out she never had any insurance, really hit her hard. Out of nowhere Scootaloo threw a taco at the wall. Sweetie got mad and farted so loud on her metal chair.

Later that day. Big Mac rounded up the crew again and decided to eat at Hooters where Rarity worked. Their next target was prince Blue Blood, his reward was even greater. But was deemed almost untouchable. But there he was, Blue Blood sitting with his body guards enjoying some chicken wings. Big Mac wasted no time by going to the table and try to make an arrest. The body guards stood up ready for a fight. Apple Jack came in and took down one body guard, Cheerilee the other. Big Mac maced Blue Blood for the hell of it. Braeburn just stood there and ate Blue Bloods chicken wings.

"Oh my!" Rarity showed her tight fitting orange shorts. Oh sorry, I meant to say that she was surprised by Big Mac taking down Blue Blood. Meh... no go back to the shorts. Spike was tapping all of this successfully. Blue Blood squealed like a bitch. Braeburn kept eating his chicken wings.

Big Mac finally cuffed Blue Blood and his body guards went off to report this. Untouchable my ass. He slammed the prince's head into the car door before putting him in. Apple Jack drove as usual but forgot to take the parking brake off while she drove. Thus resulting in her messing up the brakes. And they paid for it by crashing into the police precinct. Big Mac continued like usual and got the money.

It was a fun night. Spike went home and made love to Twilight Sparkle. Big Mac stayed over Cheerilee's house and made love to her. Braeburn and Apple Jack pretty much drank beer all night and paid Rarity to dance for them then they had a threesome. Pretty much every pony made love to every pony. Except Snips... he was god damn ugly with those eyebrows of his.

**To be continued... please review... *Wink***

Note: blah blah blah. i don't give a damn.


	4. Chapter 4

**A Strange Adventure: Big Mac The Bounty Hunter**

**By NocturneD**

Note: Pfft...

**Chapter 4**

The wanted posters in the post office dwindled down only a few. Most of the criminals have been caught thanks to Big Mac and his team of bounty hunters. Who were the most destructive and unresponsible team ever, then again they were the only ones that Ponyville ever had. They ran over innocent ponies, maced innocent ponies, even punched random innocent ponies just to get the job done.

Big Mac looked at the wanted posters for another round up and saw something that would change his life forever. "New wanted poster."

Apple Jack walked up beside him. She gasped while her eyes widened, "What the?"

Big Mac shook his head not wanting to believe it, "How could this be possible? Did you know about this Apple Jack?"

Apple Jack shook her head, "No. I didn't we're her family. We would of known about this."

Big Mac grunted, "She probably couldn't remember."

Apple Jack shouted, "How can granny Smith be on the most wanted list!"

Braeburn came up next to the two siblings, "What happened?"

"Our grandma is on the wanted list." Big Mac pointed.

"What she do?" Braeburn gasped.

"Apparently... this is supposed to be an old wanted poster. She's wanted in fifty areas for selling drugs in our apples?" Apple Jack read off the paper.

"Apple Jack we need to stay calm for this. We'll just have to ask her to cooperate." Big Mac sighed.

**ooo**

Big Mac kicked down the door to his own house with his team behind him. Spike was filming two goats humping each other while the ponies talked.

Granny Smith looked up while sitting in her rocker, "Wha? What?"

Big Mac with a straight face explained, "Granny. We love you but... you broke the law."

Granny Smith jumped out from her chair like a gymnast. She frowned, "So you finally found out!"

Big Mac frowned, "Why'd you do it granny?"

Granny pissed all over the floor while explaining, "Because we needed the money! Plus I'm on meth! I kid napped the Limburgh baby! Plus I make illegal u-turns! I'm also a hooker!"

"Ew..." Big Mac muttered. "We have to take you in granny. If not us, some pony will."

"You'll never catch me! I've drank twelve Red Bulls! Swallowed stool softner and hardener! My bowls won't know what to do!" Granny ran out of the house.

"AFTER HER!" Braeburn chased after her only to end up getting kicked in the nads by Granny.

Apple Jack pulled out her taser and shot granny with it, "STOP OR I'LL TASE YOU!"

"FUCK OFF I'M NOT GOING TO THE BIG HOUSE!" Granny pulled out a shotgun and shot Apple Jack. Luckily she had a bullet proof vest on.

Cheerilee used her taser and shocked Granny Smith. "We told you to cooperate!" Granny shot at Cheerilee and popped her balloon boobs.

Big Mac jumped on granny Smith and started punching her in the face over and over again, "WE TRUSTED YOU!" He punched her again, "WE LOVED YOU!" he punched her again, "AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY US?" Granny Smith kicked Big Mac in the nads and hoped into her truck to race off. Along the way she ran over some ponies along the way. Because she's old she didn't react fast enough. The truck caught on fire and she leapt out before it exploded in front of the Sugar cube corner. Big Mac chased after granny until she was cornered. She held up a knife and threw it at Cheerilee. Big Mac caught it with his teeth like a boss. Spike was filming all of this.

Big Mac and Granny Smith started to wail on each other. A crowd formed around the two and encouraged the fight to go further. Apparently in Ponyville fighting is encouraged and not stopped on sight. That or they like seeing old people get beaten up. But granny was fighting like a professional, Big Mac punched her in the face again. It was such an epic fight, if I were to repeat to you the play by play you would jizz your pants. That or Big Mac is weaker than every pony thinks and can't take on an old pony. Granny hoped on top of Big Mac with a knife drawn, she was going to cut him until...

**BANG!**

Granny fell over. Every pony looked over to find Apple Bloom wearing sunglasses with a shotgun. She pumped it and said, "I came to kick ass and chew on apples. And I'm all out of apples."

The fight was over. It costed more lives than saved. Big Mac decided to retire from bounty hunting for no apparent reason as I figured since this was a good time to quit. He bent down on one knee and proposed to Cheerilee on top of granny Smith's dead body. She cried and said yes. Every pony cheered ignoring the fact that a murder took place. Apple Jack proud of her brother, honored it. Apple Bloom pumped her shotgun again.

**Epilogue**

Big Mac and Cheerilee were married and will continue to do so for the rest of their lives. Both continued their respected careers and had two foals. A boy and a girl who will grow up to be very successful. Then Big Mac decided to open a repo business... Cheerilee, Apple Jac, and Braeburn continued to work with Big Mac and his stupid ideas... Big Mac wrote a book called, "Yeup."

Cheerilee continued her teaching career and happily married to Big Mac. She would go on to be a mother of two and help Big Mac write his book because the dumb ass couldn't write for shit except Yeup.

Apple Jack continued to work for her brother. The farm pretty much took care of it self when she raked in the money that granny Smith was holding from them. She kept on it from time to time.

Braeburn pretty much decided to stay in Ponyville. He enjoyed it and would visit Trixie in her cell from time to time promising when she gets out he'll be waiting for her. He eventually proposed to her. One day he woke up one day with one of his kidneys missing. Despite the setback, he made Trixie part of the family. They had three foals together.

Apple Bloom became quite the gun collector when growing up. She finally did get her cutie mark of an apple with a rifle over it. Doesn't make sense, don't care.

Trixie turned over a new leaf once she got out of jail. She still performed shows but kept close to the Apple family business. She and Braeburn had three foals together and would often take care of them while handling desk work and performing magic shows for kids. And old people who would call her a witch and try to burn her at the stake.

Rarity continued being a whore... And still worked at Hooters until she bounced back with her business making clothes for other whores.

Sweetie Belle eventually found the cure for cancer. Too bad she never wrote it down.

Scootaloo continued throwing tacos at the wall.

Snips died on the toilet one day, same fate as Elvis.

Pip wandered off and we haven't seen him in years.

Snails went on to have the greasests hair in all of Equestria.

Diamond Tiarra got shot in the face by Apple Bloom. No pony cared.

Silver Spoon shoved an actual silver spoon in her ass. That's the reason behind her cutie mark.

Pinkie Pie ate too many sugary sweets and got diabetes. Now she stars in commercials that deals with diabetes and testing supplies.

Prince Blue Blood married the black stallion in the cell with him when he went to prison. Guess which one is the bitch?

Twilight Sparkle would go off and marry Spike. She would eventually become a teacher herself and teach magic to other unicorns. She and Spike had many children who would grow up to be successful themselves. Then her career would lead her to become a professor and write crappy stories that every pony wouldn't even wipe their own ass on.

Spike would go on to become a famous director... I'm not even going to tell you what movies he makes... but also a fun dad. Him and Twilight still have hardcore sex until one of their kids walked in on them and became blind.

Rainbow Dash became the biggest lesbian of all time...

Granny Smith burned eternally in hell...

**the end...**

note: done... thank god... review!


	5. Chapter 5

A note to the reader.

Thank you all for giving this story a chance by reading and giving it a review. What you read there is basically my immature side getting a hold of the keyboard and having fun. Just to let you know, I do have a rather strange taste in comedy as I do enjoy all forms of it. So, the Strange Adventure series is a way for me to blow off some steam with my other stories that are bigger and taking more time to work with. These are short and to the point. If any of them had one.

While you noticed my other stories had comedy in them. They had time put into them, these ones are just random thoughts going through my mind. Short stories that are crazy. A way to say, screw you to the cannon and write what we are all thinking of the actual show. Hey it worked for Arthur, it can work with this fandom.

I have a sequel to the Strange Adventure series called, "A Strange Adventure 2: Whorseville". No that isn't a spelling error, it's a lame horse pun. The plot is about Ponyville's economy is in more terrible shape than they think. Trying ways to make money only end up in failure so the citizens demand a new pony mayor to take care of things. A new pony named Delicious T steps in the ring and wins the crowd over. He makes crazy promises but delivers. But he brings his own money and has connections where Ponyville starts transforming into a place where the taxes are too high and now the ponies have to take up prostitution to pay their loans off. Rather extreme huh? Twilight Sparkle isn't taking this sitting down. So let's join her fight to get all the immoral out of Ponyville! Don't worry, it's comedy will be like this story. Check it out!

Thank you all,

NocturneD


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